welcome january :D

Twas the month after Christmas

'Twas the month after Christmas',
and all through the house,
nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
the chocolate I'd taste
at the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
less a walk than a lumber.

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
and the way I never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a summer, disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
til all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
but isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet!


Author unknown