Thursday, April 23, 2009
motherhood . . .
. . . is so hard at times.
there are the easier parts of mothering. driving, cooking, cleaning, shopping, planning, financial sacrifices, labor. i can so deal with those things, no problem. the hard part involves the matters of the heart.
am i doing enough to help shape their hearts to be lovely and kind young women? hearts that are pure, true and grateful? do i say the right things? do i say too much? not enough? one minute i feel 'up in their business' and the next, i wonder if i'm being too permissive. i am a big proponent of grace & mercy and so is God, good thing for me but am i slacking off under the pretext of grace & mercy? and what of my heart? is the ugly side of my heart shaping them as well?
motherhood as of late has me more dependent on God than ever before. i pray daily that God will fill in the gaps and pick up the slack of my mothering. after all, He knows my daughters better than anyone. He knows what's best and has a plan.
my girls are the best gift i have ever been given. if i want to get anything right in this life, it's raising my girls to be the best they can be. i feel like i 'miss the mark' most every day but i keep trying, every day, so i hope and pray that counts for something.